Poet Pipe-Dream

The New Yorker needs a haiku,
on hold 'til I'm done w/ Cameron...
Alright, Cam, you've had yr way.

I'll write you that screenplay.
You'd think they'd be patient--
how many bards bed Cam Diaz,

tell-tale in seventeen syllables?
I'm good w/ starlets-- secret is,
treat 'em mean. Cam, especially,

dotes on humiliations; noticed my
last Malibu jaunt. I read her Donne--
Come, Madam, Come, all rest my

powers defy; until I labor, I in labor lie...
she bought me a Porsche. Not bad
for an elegy-- or a mistress.