September Heat

Sultry September: we warily followed our
party back to a twin near City Hall, under
an aegis which was not for us, & which
included our enemies, dirt & grime came
down, settled on our backs. Now, I blame
a sense of excess which was just the Aughts;
I got used to knowing a step up on a Philly
ladder could be a step down. They were
snorting coke in a room upstairs at this
party, and, it was rumored, playing Russian
Roulette. The pistol (I saw) had a silencer on it.
I looked upstairs, from the landing, at a greasy light.
September shadows cast an eerie glow of nowhere—
someone pushed past me, frankly, to join the affair.

The night I met Nick, after hearing about
Amherst & his band of high-born gypsies,
I felt my life slip into a new mode: because
I had to move forward into the world of
books, alone (Jeremy being non compos mentis
enough to render him useless), where I would
settle would have to be desert, both beneath
& possibly on the surface. So, Laura was in
Europe for a few months (OK, Nick), Eric
was staying with friends in New York, & poor
Nick not traveling like he should. It was my
destiny to learn: grime comes in many different
forms. The fund of energy I was given to
trust worked to propel a traveling brain. Money?